Sunday, April 23, 2006

There's a restless feeling knocking at my door today

I don't know quite where my head is at these days. In the past two weeks I have lost my beloved sunglasses (expensive, but old and scratched too) and my watch (a cheap but good brand that I replace every 6 years or so, probably had it nearly that long).

When I'm at work, my mind is often anywhere but. A lot of the time it is on my knitting and other creative pursuits. But at the same time, I've been reading a road safety book, borrowed from work, at home. And puzzling over how to do a few things differently at work. That's one of many books that have bookmarks in them at the moment. I usually try to mostly read only one at a time, though of course there will always be several (especially non-fiction) that I've started and then left for a while. But lately it's been worse and I have to keep stopping myself from starting to read something new every day. There are too many things I'm interested in and too much material just lying around this house. And more coming in all the time. Not that I actually spend that much time reading, as I have rediscovered Buffy DVDs. Nor writing, despite a bunch of ideas I'd like to follow up.

I've been wondering if all this is just a little phase or if I need to do some longer term planning and goal setting. (Eeeeew). I might just chalk it up to the approaching birthday. 31. There has been a bit of reassessing over the past year, but nothing toooooo serious.

Even at soccer I've been finding that I'm not quite with it. I keep seeing what I should have done, after the fact. I was getting worried, both about the team not really pulling together and trusting each other, and also that I might not be able to carry my weight. This morning I started by subbing about half a game for the lower division. I slightly rolled my ankle and came straight off. It seemed all right to run on but felt a bit stiff and I worried, cause that's what I do, about developing one of those persistent small injuries. I've been pretty lucky up to now with very few injuries and full recovery.

But when my game started everything slipped into place, I forgot all about my ankle, and I had a great game, physically AND mentally.

I hope this means good things for the other parts of my life, that I can start feeling more like my head is in the game.

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